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    • Heinessights: Wisdom For the Ages
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  • About

Heinessights: Wisdom For the Ages

By Matthew Heines

Heinessights: Wisdom For the Ages
Laughs Galore
$7.99
  • Publisher: Heinessight Enterprises
  • Available in: Kindle, eBook, Paperback
  • ISBN: 1094907405
  • Published: July 9, 2019
iTunesAmazon KindleAmazon Print

Special China Virus Edition!

Heinessights are always 20/20 and the latest China Virus Edition of Heinessights: Wisdom for the Ages is certainly no exception.

With a whole new chapter of China Virus jokes, and a slew of new one liners added to our other chapters, this is a bookyou cannot afford to miss.

You don’t want to miss out on classics like these:

I was a gifted child. My mother kept trying to gift me to everyone she met from out of town.

*****

I was the only four year old in town with my own handgun and throwing knives.

*****

When the cops used to see me in public, they put wheel locks on my stroller.

Enlightenment? Spiritual Oneness? It’s All Here

If you’re looking for guidance on subjects like dating, the military, politics or the history of town names in Washington State, you have arrived!

You need look no farther than Heinessights: Wisdom for the Ages.

People pay gurus and spiritual leaders thousands of dollars for the spiritual enlightenment available from just a few Heinessights!

Guidance and Chuckles

Heinessights will not only enlighten you, this book will enlighten and amuse you at the same time.

Take for example, this observation about life in the Army:

★ “In the 82nd Airborne, they said everyone should be, “high and tight.”

★ “It took a long time before I realized they were talking about my hair and not my underwear.”

Heinessights: Wisdom for the Ages is for Everyone!

You will soon see how many social benefits are available when you read Heinessights: Wisdom for the Ages.

At social gatherings and funerals, you can keep your friends amused with these quips, witticisms and lifelong observations.

If you’re really desperate, you can even pass the Heinessights you share off as your own.

Take advantage of dating advice like this:

★ “I once dated someone who told me she was a showgirl. When it came to our dates, she never showed.”

Washington State Bonus Heinessights

Of course, if you’re living in Washington, you’re gonna get an extra benefit from the fact the author grew up in Sequim.

★ Just the sentence, “I grew up in Sequim,” is like saying, “I have psychological issues.”

Beyond that there is Seattle, or what is more commonly known as Urine Town.

Out of Place

Finally, the Washingtonian is going to be thrilled to read about the alleged origin of some of Washington’s favorite burgs.

★ “Washington State Place Names: Quilcene – What happens when your porcupine throws a tantrum.

Be the first at your next picnic, church social or clam bake to spout off a few Heinessights and let the knee-slapping begin!

Order your copies today!

“If you’re wearing a mask, they can’t see you laughing at them.”  – Ancient Chinese Secret Proverb

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Heinessights: Wisdom For the Ages
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USD 7.99
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